R5 Letters

Sex Issue

Your article, “Now Servicing Westchester,” (Sept, ’08) by W. Dyer Halpern has caused quite a stir among my married friends. In fact, some of my female friends have said they’d left the article in plain view so that they could gauge their husbands’ reactions as they read it. This article points out the big elephant in the room: cheating husbands.

I have heard views like: “I would rather have him sleep with a prostitute than the nanny.” Or, “I would rather he go to a massage parlor for a rub and tug than harbor a deep emotional crush on another woman.”

We suburban Westchester wives have pretty much accepted that the odds of a perfect marriage are stacked against us. A few years ago, didn’t 72 percent of married men polled say they had engaged in an extramarital affair? After reading this article, it is clear that a discreet fling is really just a click away. I don’t hear too many women threatening to leave a cheater anymore. Perhaps some feel that this is part of “the deal”?

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The majority of women I know who have found out about an affair have stayed with their husbands. One friend even bragged about her five-carat guilt rock. So, is this what the state of marriage has come to, even here, in the suburbs, where we believe temptation is less? And, why do men get services and we don’t? Surely, especially with the recent developments on Wall Street, there must be some handsome, sexy men who would like to earn a little extra cash and come between our sheets. The kids are all back in school, our husbands are stressed and grumpy, Pilates is getting to be so boring…and we have cash.

“A typical Westchester housewife”
-via e-mail

The article, “12 Things You Oughtta Know About Sex!” was very interesting. I agree that “sex and love aren’t the same.” There are many different relationships in life and I’ve been in ones that have been very intense sexually but didn’t translate into love. I also agree that “what you say is important.” Sex is not just physical.

Carmen H.
Class of 2009 college student

Oops: In our October “Culture, Etc.,” we listed incorrect dates for the Terrence McNally play A Perfect Ganesh. The correct dates are Oct 30 to November 1, November 6 to 8, and November 13 to 15.

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