R5 How to Blow Your Tax Refund, Celebrity-Style

If that whole fiscal cliff thing had you spooked, you may have already stocked up on handmade Italian suits, vintage Vuitton, and diamond-encrusted earbuds. If not, now’s your chance to throw away your tax refund—if you were so lucky—before filing under new rules in 2014. Stuck in scrimp mode? Let these notorious, big, bad spenders show you how it’s done—and we’ll show you where around town to do likewise.

Mike Tyson
CV:
Earned some $300 million over two decades before declaring bankruptcy in ’03
Best buys: A trio of Siberian tigers
Live like a champ: We inquired at the Wolf Conservation Center in South Salem. Apparently, the pups “aren’t for sale.” So order lobster at nearby Le Château (1410 Rte 35, 914-533-6631; lechateauny.com)—and leave a “Page Six”-worthy tip. 

 

Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York
CV:
Caught offering to exchange insider access to ex-hubby Prince Andrew for cash
Best buys: £50k (more than $75k in today’s dollars) on one designer’s frocks
Shop like a royal: Pay homage to Mother England in McQueen and L.K.Bennett from Rye shoes and accessories boutique Walin & Wolff (62 Purchase St, 914-305-6601; walinand wolff.com).

 

Nicolas Cage
CV:
Owed the IRS $13 million before paying off nearly half of that late last year
Best buys: A private, 40-acre Bahamian island; a Gulfstream jet
Have some refund fun: If your payout was on the average side—around $3,000—chartering your own aircraft might not fly. Play the madcap jetsetter by buying everyone a round at Cuba-inspired Havana Central in Ridge Hill (238 Market St, Yonkers 914-423-5500; havanacentral.com).

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Britney Spears
CV:
Named, at 30 years old, the second-highest paid woman in Hollywood by Forbes
Best buys: An annual $2,596 on hair and makeup, $4,648 on massages and grooming
Polish it off: Start indulging your inner pop star with nails inc’s Bling It On “Rebel” kit ($25), complete with leather-look lacquer, Swarovski crystals, and silvery “studs.” (Sephora, 125 Westchester Ave, White Plains 914-421-1333; sephora.com).

 

Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag
CV:
“Speidi” (somehow) raked in $10 million by first appearing on faux-reality show The Hills.
Best buys: Heidi’s ten cosmetic-surgery procedures—in one day
Make dreams reality: Skip the post-op nausea and head to Bellava MedAesthetics & Spa in Bedford Hills (182 Rte 117 Bypass Rd, 914-864-2140; bellavaspa.com), where no-knife treatments include fillers, SlimLipo, and a Caviar & Pearl facial. 

 

 

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