Less Confusing than the Old Testament



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Possible Titles for Thesis Papers Referencing the Soundtrack of the Final Scene in the “The Sopranos” Season Finale:


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Long Day’s “Journey” Into Night: Tony Soprano and the Banality of Evil


Livin’ Just to Find Emotion: Freud’s Death Wish and the Thrill of Survival in “The Sopranos”

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Any Way You Want it: An Alternative Reading of Sexuality in “The Sopranos”


Just a Small Town Girl: Meadow Soprano as Complicit Everywoman


Don’t Stop Believing: Religious Desire, The American Dream, and Carmela








You Are About to See a Dead Body in the Law-&-Orderverse:

1 – You are a twenty-something professional male leaving a Chelsea art gallery opening. You have your arm around a beautiful young woman. “So, I was saying,” she says, “Wait. What was I saying? Rourke! Rourke is the most underrated painter of our generation.” “I agree,” you say, “Nobody has control of the line the way Rourke–” The young woman’s face is frozen, you notice, and follow her line of sight.

2 – You are an elderly Jewish woman. You and your husband are entering your apartment building. The lock is broken, you and your husband exchange looks. “This landlord!” you say. “Marvin, this is outrageous.” Your husband nods, then enters the alcove. He stops abruptly. “What are you doing?” “Ethel. Turn around and call the cops.” “Why?” “Don’t ask.” “Marvin, what’s wrong with you?” You peek over your husband’s shoulder.

3 – You are walking your dog. All other details unnecessary.








A Sort of Young Person Explains Current Music in Terms that Old People Can Understand, Pt. 1:


Radiohead: Pink Floyd is the guy who went to Woodstock and now feels guilty about his high-paying job on Wall Street. Radiohead is his teenage son who plays on the computer all day and makes a scene at dinner every night because he’s a vegan. “You don’t understand!” Radiohead shouts. But Pink Floyd understands all too well.


Keane: Keane is Radiohead’s younger brother who thinks of himself as sensitive and misunderstood, and so has trouble figuring out why he gets so much sex.


Bright Eyes: Make Money FAST!!! Turn YOUR journal entries into POP MUSIC!!


The Hold Steady: Less Springsteen “Nebraska” more Springsteen “Born to Run.” Plus a healthy respect for illegal drugs. And a whole buncha Minnesota.


Justin Timberlake: What if Michael Jackson in his prime had access to Prince’s catalogue. And what if the thought of MJ having sex wasn’t all icky and weird. Justin Timberlake, that’s what.

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