Ladies and gentlemen of Westchester, your vote is hereby meaningless. For, you see, the next president of the United States has already been chosen. The winner: Hillary Rodham Clinton. Cue the band, drop the balloons, wake up the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court.
Okay, we’re jesting; your vote is not actually meaningless (well, no more than usual), and Hillary has not won yet, but if sales of the “Hillary cookie” at Patisserie Lulu in Scarsdale are any indication of things to come, then the words “President Clinton” will soon barrage your ears like it was 1999.
It all started a few months ago after Jay Muse, owner of Lulu’s, was commissioned to bake cookies for a Hillary fundraiser in Scarsdale and a Barack Obama fundraiser in New Rochelle. After feeding the masses of presidential supporters, Muse decided to put some of his leftover cookies on his shelves for sale to the general public. The result: sales as hot as the latest Idaho Senate scandal. These cookies have been followed by Rudy cookies, John Edwards cookies, and then John McCain, Mitt Romney, and, get this, Al Gore cookies. “We started to sell three hundred a week,” says Muse.
However, sales of two candidates’ cookies lagged. “I think we only sold three Mitt Romneys and ten John McCains.” So the trailing politicos were yanked from regular cookie production (comments from the campaign were not returned… nor solicited for that matter). “A few are still available just in case,” Muse notes.
The cookies range in price from $3 to $5, though Muse swears it’s only based on how much it costs to produce the sugary treats, not based on politics. As for the voice of the voters, it’s been generally positive. Though, Muse muses (sorry) that “one person complained that the Hillary cookie was bigger than the others, but that’s only because she has so many letters in her name.”
As for Muse himself, he finds most humorous the customers who request a discount because they are “big supporters of a particular candidate.” And, since we know you’re wondering, Muse claims he’s “undecided on both his candidate and his cookie.”
BY THE NUMBERS
The top selling presidential cookies:
1. Hillary Clinton
2. Barack Obama
3. Rudy Giuliani
4. Al Gore