A Field Guide to Metro-North Commuters

The Two-seated booby

A person who spreads his or her stuff out over two seats, and then pretends to be asleep when new riders get on.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Very good at playing Twister.

Snoring droolapotomus

He sleeps! He snores! He drools!
Distinguishing Characteristics: Open mouth.

Checkered flagosaurus

A person so terrified of having to wait in line, that he is always the first person out the train door, into his car and out of the parking lot, thereby shaving precious seconds off the end of his commute while also (bonus points!) risking countless lives as he speeds through the parking lot.
Distinguishing Characteristics: Body-shaped dents in car bumper.

Of course, there isn’t enough room to name them all here. Please send us your field guide additions to edit@westchestermagazine.com.

John Korpics is the creative director of Fortune Magazine, and he lives with his wife and two daughters in Waccabuc. You can see more of his work at johnkorpics.com, and read more about his commuting woes at myeffingcommute.blogspot.com