10 Rants About Westchester County

Features Editor Laurie Yarnell gets in touch with her cranky side.

I generally love living and working in Westchester, but there are some things about it that do tick me off. So here, I present a totally random, biased, and completely subjective list of my personal complaints and pet peeves about the county we all call home.

1. Having to sandwich my vehicle, the last regular-sized car in the entire 914 area code region, into a parking space between two huge SUVs or similar behemoths, each registered to people with two or fewer kids. And no, your Labradoodle does not count as an offspring, no matter how cute.

2. Paying big bucks for Labradoodles and Peekapoos and other “designer dogs,” formerly known as mutts, that are in plentiful supply and available at little or no cost from such terrific no-kill shelters as Pets Alive
in Elsmford.

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3. Texting while driving. Seriously—people have to be told not to do this?

4. Vampires and any vampire-themed movies, novels, TV shows, etc. And, with apologies to some of my colleagues—they know who they are—any adult who professes to be addicted to the genre.

5. Any so-called adult/Tiger Parent who talks about where “we” are applying to college.

6. The self-appointed supermarket Check -Out Policeperson who recently questioned how many items I had in my cart on the 20-item express lane. For the record, I did have exactly 20 things—before I threw in the latest People. So there.

7. Shoppers who go all glassy-eyed when it’s their turn to get rung up. Really—you didn’t realize you’d have to locate your credit card, check book, coupons, and/or savings card once you were at the register? And remember that old adage, “Many hands make lighter work”? You could just stand there or—novel idea—you could help bag your avocados and the latest copy of this magazine.

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8. The check-out person who doesn’t acknowledge my “thank you.” Manners, anyone?

9. Paying for parking—and the privilege of purchasing something—at The Westchester, after having squeezed my regular-sized automobile in between two mobile-home-sized vehicles (see No. 1 above).

10. Surely you didn’t think that any list of county complaints wouldn’t include 287—and its cost overrun? For $86-plus million per mile, I want cushioned roadways, piped-in classical music, and curbside cappuccino service. But this crabby commuter, who has spent the last nine years of her professional life crawling on the Cross Westchester from her home in Rye to her office in Elmsford and back again, is having the last laugh. In a totally random, how-did-I-get-so-lucky set of circumstances that I had absolutely nothing to do with, late last year Westchester Magazine moved its offices to…Rye. Take that, 287.

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