The Groom's Edition

I don’t often get questions from the prospective grooms, but that seems to be changing. In the last few years, men have become much more involved in every aspect of wedding planning. Maybe it’s because bridal couples tend to be older than they were years ago? Or, maybe it’s because they feel that they can be a calming influence on their brides. Whatever the reason, I see it as a change for the better. After all, their wedding probably is the biggest and most expensive party in a couple’s life, so it seems right that both the prospective bride and groom should be involved in planning it.


Band à la Mode

Jerry asks: “I’m getting ready to pop the question, which means it’s time to look for an engagement ring. My bride is very fashion conscious, so have you any suggestions?”

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Dear Jerry: The look and style of engagement rings change from year to year. The current hot trend is moving away from the traditional “white” round diamond, to colored or — as they are known in the diamond trade — “fancy” stones. These expensive stones run the gamut in color from red to blue to yellow, with price tags that can be in the millions. Although many brides will still favor the traditional round cut, the square, Asscher style emerald-cut is gaining popularity. Whatever the selection, keep in mind that this is a ring that she will wear every day of her life, so it’s also important to note the ring setting and to make sure that it “fits” her lifestyle.

Double Duty

Sam asks: “My fiancée and I had just started to plan our wedding when I got orders to Iraq. I feel like there’s no time to plan a ‘real’ wedding, but we would both hate to miss having this special day in our lives. What do you suggest?”

Dear Sam: First let me wish you the very best of luck on your tour of duty! I’m grateful for your service to our country. The numbers of military weddings and the numbers of weddings before service people go overseas continues to rise. Many of these before-I-go weddings are short, sweet, and quickly-planned. Some couples have found that hiring a wedding planner will “allow” them to plan a quick, but “full-blown” affair.

If you opt for a military wedding, you may be interested in reading an article on called “Arch of Swords (Sabers) Ceremony: The Rules & Regulations of a Military Wedding.” Other couples are just not in the mood for an elaborate wedding and would like to savor the joy of planning their special day. For those couples, the thing to do is to hold a ceremony in a house of worship, or a judge’s chambers with immediate family and very close friends in attendance. Then, when your tour of duty is over, you can take your time and enjoy planning your wedding minus all the pressure that you have on you now. Whatever you decide to do, my congratulations and best wishes are with you.

To submit a question to “The Wedding Guru,” e-mail it to, or add a comment in the box below.

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