Save the Date (When You’ll Buy Me Gifts)

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Avoid this wedding faux pas by knowing the distinction between your wedding announcement and your registry number

Weddings are occasions at which you celebrate your love with friends and family and allow them to participate in a very special event. Most of your guests will choose to mark the occasion with a gift — but gifts are not what a wedding is about! As a matter of fact — and unlike a bridal shower — guests are not under any obligation to give a gift at a wedding. Remember: when you’re announcing your special day, you’re not announcing when you expect gifts.

A bride writes: “I’m sending out save-the-date postcards so everyone close to me can set aside my wedding date. I think that the card can do double-duty if I include my bridal registry information. Is this appropriate?”

Dear bride: Let the hesitation you feel serve as a guide — the answer is absolutely not! A save-the-date card is not the way to let people know where you’re registered. Instead, tell your mom, your maid of honor, and your matron of honor that, when family and friends ask what you would like as a wedding gift, they can inform the guests where you’ve registered. For the comfort of your guests, I suggest you pick stores in several locations. It’s also a good idea to select items at a variety of price points, so there’s something for guests to choose whatever their budgets.

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For more information on save-the-date cards, see “Save-the-Date… Giving Your Guests Advance Notice” on

Readers, what do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments box below, or submit your own question to the Wedding Guru by emailing Judy at

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