Ask my Yiddish grandmother and she’ll tell you: There’s nothing better on Christmas Day than movies and Chinese food, though I propose this holds true the whole holiday season. Everyone’s sick of cooking, there are more relatives crammed into your house than there are comfortable sleeping arrangements, and everyone’s dreading at least one topic of conversation around the dinner table.
When everything else is closed, Alamo Drafthouse welcomes you and yours with open arms, and a bevy of food and drink specials paired just for your choice of entertainment. In that spirit, here is the definitive list of what to see when you don’t feel like seeing your family.
Problem: *Literally Any Discussion of Politics* – Rogue One
A scrappy and downtrodden — but ultimately hopeful — band of underground resistance fighters tackle impossible odds to win small but pivotal victories against an evil and oppressive totalitarian regime that, while legally empowered, has crushed the populace under its tyrannical heel in the name of greater and greater power.
Nope. Absolutely no political talk around the dinner table this year. Nuh-uh. Not having it.
Unsurprisingly, Alamo has banked on the inevitable financial boon that is Rogue One: A Star Wars Story crafting several food and drink specialties for the occasion.
In the style of tropical beach planet Scarif, entrées include pork or chicken sliders with avocado, “Island Salad,” shrimp-and-avocado toast, and jerked sweet potato over tropical coconut black beans and herb-pineapple cilantro. The drink menu is equally as exciting. “Forest Moon” and “Ice Planet” cocktails feature Ford’s gin and subtle nods in flavor and appearance to some of the Original Trilogy’s classic locales. “Blue Milke Tropicale” meanwhile makes sense of why Luke stuck around his aunt and uncle’s farm so long: it’s made with vanilla ice cream, coconut rum, pineapple, and blue Curacao. (There’s even a youngling-acceptable version substituting maple syrup and blueberries for the adult ingredients.)
Whatever your family’s viewing pleasure this season, Alamo Drafthouse will help ensure that you all make it through the holidays without strangling each other (at least until New Year’s).
Problem: “The Kids Are Old Enough That We Can’t Curse Around Them Anymore.” – Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Sing, or Hugo
Alamo understands that often “family movie” means “suitable for placating the youngest of your brood.” In the week leading up to Hanukkah and Christmas Eve, Alamo Yonkers is offering multiple showings of the new Harry Potter spin-off and Sing, the latest animated feature from the creators of Despicable Me and The Secret Life of Pets, in which Matthew McConaughey as a koala attempts to save his struggling theater by putting on the greatest singing competition in the history of the talking-animal world.
Starting December 26th, the Alamo’s Kids Camp is featuring Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, based on Brian Selznick’s 2008 Caldecott Medal winning novel The Invention of Hugo Cabret. All Kids Camp tickets are pay-what-you-want from $1 to $3, with all proceeds going directly to local schools and non-profit organizations. If you’re looking to spread some holiday cheer while keeping the kids quiet for a few hours, this is the way.
For the adults in the audience, I recommend Alamo’s traditional mimosas for any matinee, or a classic Pimm’s and soda for later showings. Both look harmless enough to maintain your children’s innocent perception of their parents, but pack enough kick to give you a holiday treat of your own.
Problem: “When Are You Getting a Real Job?” – Office Christmas Party
Whether it’s downplaying your liberal arts degree or your employment at a non-profit, someone you’re related to has attempted to very lovingly insult your career. Maybe you don’t wear a tie to the office; maybe you don’t have an office but have really great Yelp reviews instead. Whatever your circumstances, to avoid this conversation utterly, simply take your family to see Office Christmas Party.
When second-generation CEO Carol (yes, really) Vanstone (Jennifer Aniston) decides to save their father’s company by shutting down the branch run by her screw-up brother Clay, (TJ Miller), Clay’s obvious solution is to put everything the branch has into throwing the most epic office party and thereby impressing a client whose account could save his employees.
Featuring Jason Bateman, Olivia Munn, and current comedy superstars such as Kate McKinnon (Ghostbusters) and Rob Corddry (Children’s Hospital), it’s a classic “Screw-Up Comes Through When It Counts” comedy sure to psychologically pacify your would-be detractors in the family. Alamo has even helpfully added Mom’s Holiday Meatballs to their menu for a limited time, in honor of the film. Made of pork and beef, and simmered in chili, they’re sure to put your whole clan into a food coma.
2548 Central Park Ave, Yonkers
914.226.3082; Alamo Drafthouse
Curious for more insight into everything from health, weddings, and local business happenings to golf and hearty Westchester eating?Make sure to surf through all of our daily blogs.