Brett Favre, now that you’ve changed your uniform from Small Town green-and-gold to Big City green-and-white, you’ll need a place to take off your cleats and relax. The rumor is you’ve moved to New Jersey, and while we appreciate all the good things that come from the Garden State—Bruce Springsteen, The Sopranos, Frank Sinatra, farm fresh blueberries—there are a few Westchester towns that we think make a better fit. And, yes, we’re playing realtor here, but there’s no commission involved (we just wouldn’t mind another personality living here—it makes doing a celeb issue much easier).
North Salem. This town is home to other celebrities looking for privacy (David Letterman, American Idol finalist Kimberly Locke, Broadway composer Alan Menken), and the rural feel and scant population (approximately 5,000 over 33 square miles) is not much different from your Bayou birthplace of Kiln, Mississippi (approx 2,040 residents over 13.5 square miles). If you miss your eponymously named steakhouse in Green Bay, head to Croton Creek Steakhouse in Croton Falls, a hamlet in North Salem. More than a few deer roam here so feel free to indulge your inner hunter and break out your bow.
Amawalk. This small section in the northern part of Somers is known primarily as the location of the Amawalk Reservoir. Being a devoted angler, you’ll make studying that complicated Jets playbook a breeze while your fishing line is cast with live minnow to lure in the smallmouth bass. But remember, it’s a catch-and-release lake, so use that quarterback arm of yours to throw ’em back.
Pound Ridge. Your current spread is 460 acres in Hattiesburg, Michigan, so we know you like a Ponderosa-sized lot. Pound Ridge (population approx 4,800) has one of the highest acre-to-lot sizes zoning in the county. This means lots of land for you to ride around on a John Deere. How does a 6 BR, Honey Hollow Rd Colonial on 44 acres sound? And as far as hunting goes, there just might be more deer living here than humans.
// John Bruno Turiano