Excommunicating Your Ex


Jessica asks: “I am remarrying after a divorce. Is it okay for me to invite my ex-husband to my wedding?”

Dear Jessica: The guidelines of etiquette say “no.” If you are maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex-husband, especially if you had children together, the “rule” is yours to “break.”

Weathering the Storm

Maryanne asks: “I’m having an outdoor, backyard wedding at mom and dad’s home, which they so graciously have allowed us to use. I know they say that everyone talks about the weather, but nobody can do anything about. Can you offer any suggestions for being ‘weather-ready?’ ”

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Dear Maryanne: There are lots of things you can do to “protect” yourself. Considered having a tent set up, because it not only works if it should rain, but also because it provides shade on a sunny day and a cooler environment for the food. If you plan to go ahead regardless of the weather, you can, in your invitations, ask guests to bring umbrellas. As backup, you can have several large golf umbrellas available.

If you live in an area that sometimes gets severe weather such as hurricanes, you may wish to consider wedding insurance. Many contracts cover postponements or cancellations due to severe weather. For more information about wedding weather issues, check out the Wedding Guide article “Weather Related Problems and Solutions.

Precious Moments

Roberta asks: “I am fortunate to have a large family. My great-grandmother and all eight of our grandparents will be at our wedding. For some, this may be the last significant family celebration they will attend. Other than ‘bringing’ these special people to the photographer, how can I make absolutely sure that the photographer gets photos of them?”

Dear Roberta: How lucky you are, indeed. To help ensure that photographer takes these critical shots, begin by describing each of your relatives to your photographer. Give him or her cues about your VIPs such as clothing, distinguishing characteristics, and corsages/ boutonnieres. Better yet, provide the photographer with a list and paste thumbnail images of each right onto the paper. Last, but not least, delegate a family member who knows all, or most of these guests, to act as the go-for and corral these folks to the photographer’s shooting spot.   

Ask Away

Hillary asks: “I’m a bit embarrassed about asking my friends and family to serve as attendants at my wedding. Have you any hints as to how I can get past this?”

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Dear Hillary: Simply put, don’t be afraid to ask for help, but when you do, explain that you will understand being turned down and explain that you’d rather a “no” up front than an uncompleted assignment later. Your honesty will be appreciated and you are less likely to be disappointed down the road.

To submit a question to “The Wedding Guru,” e-mail it to judy@hvmag.com, or add a comment in the box below.

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