Culture Clash

The Wedding Guru Judy Lewis fields this week’s wedding questions. Today: Can Judy save one wedding when worlds collide?

Weddings often act as a melting pot of guests from different geographic locations, backgrounds, and orientations. Many fences are mended at weddings, when, generally speaking, everyone should focus on making the bridal couple happy and comfortable — not on old disagreements and rifts!

A bride asks: “I’ve started planning my wedding and, in looking over our guest list, I noticed that we have guests from very varied backgrounds. Both of our parents and grandparents are very conservative and share old-fashioned values about politics and religion. I’m concerned about the mix of people that we’ve invited: Some of our friends are outspoken liberals, some are hippy throwbacks, and several couples are gay. I worry about making our conservative relatives uncomfortable, although I’m relatively sure that our non-conservative guests will not be “preaching” at our wedding. Is there a way to make everyone happy?”

Dear bride: In a simple sentence, my response is “don’t worry about it.” Invite whomever you want for your wedding and trust that people will act appropriately. Keep in mind that your wedding is not about having a platform or to flaunt one’s sexual or political preferences. The people you invite all care about the two of you — and I have no doubt that, if they have to, they’ll put their own feelings aside to keep you happy!

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