Candy Corn Don’t Get No Respect

Haters back off and recognize a true Halloween candy OG on its special day.

Haters back off and recognize a true Halloween candy OG on its special day.

Perhaps only licorice or the ribbon candies you find in the candy dish at Grandma’s house evoke such a level of derision as candy corn. Maybe it’s a bias against the artificial color combo of Yellow#6/Yellow#5/Red#3 found in many of the major brands, or maybe it’s the fact it’s called candy corn but it’s not shaped like corn but instead a lamely tri-colored mini birthday party hat.

I want to express unequivocally with National Candy Corn Day coming up Friday: I love candy corn. Approximately 9 billion pieces are manufactured each year and it has more supporters than haters according to a CNN Facebook poll, yet it frequently is the punch line to comedian’s jokes and prompts a host of negativity if a bag is offered up in the office kitchen.

And to be clear, I’m backing the original white/orange/yellow candy corn, not the Reindeer Corn (red and green) for Christmas or the Cupid Corn (red and pink) for Valentine’s Day. It’s a childhood-fond-memories-type of candy, where a gooey sugar rush triggers thoughts of cool nights walking the neighborhood with friends (no parents!) carrying flashlights and pillowcases bursting to the seams with sweet loot.

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This is a once a year treat people—everything in moderation right? My triglyceride and glucose levels may take a tiny spike toward diabetes after a few handfuls, but hey you can say that about a horde of sweet indulgences connected to most holidays.

There are also many cool things to make with candy corn, such as crafting a candy corn “corn-on-the-cob,” fixing your nails in a candy corn theme, and making a candy corn monster with your kids.

Candy Corn on the Cob
Dave 77459 | Flickr

There is a proper eating technique for candy corn too; either gobbling one whole or nibbling your way down starting at the white tip. For those of you who start on the wide yellow end, well I can’t help you other than to say you’ll want to seek professional help and to lay off the candy corn.

Switch to Circus Peanuts or something.

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